A vegan travels back to the Future

From The Future of Veganism Department –

Marty McBug and Doc Brawn have discovered that in the year 2185 the whole world has adopted the plant-based lifestyle. Veganism has gone viral! As Doc is a vegan he is very pleased with what he discovers in the future yet wonders why it took so long.

Having accidently traveled back to the future while fine tuning the flux capacitor in the time machine, (actually Doc spilled his carrot juice on the electronics console which caused a short that sent a pulse of nuclear energy to the flux capacitor which in turn blasted them into the future). A highly modified version of Doc’s original Delorean, now veggie powered, catapults them to an uncertain future in a strange land.

Marty and Doc find many changes to the country in 2185, among them:

All-out war was declared by the Vegan President in 2135 when he discovered the Democrats (still up to their old tricks) secretly voted in favor of a bill to teach meat cutting in elementary schools. The Mother of all wars raged for nearly five years.

Animal meat and dairy products have been banned, ever since the Great Vegan/Meathead War, when the Vegan Marines, in a final assault to the crest of Hamburger Hill defeated the meatheads in fierce combat.

Troops under the command of General Craven ‘Dogface’ Moorehead, slaughtered the so-called elite Meathead Divisions and showed the courage of the New Republican Guard, led by Col. Donald Trump IV, great grandson of the former U.S. President.

The surrender of the meathead army to General Moorehead required them to lay down their arms (steak knives) and was signed by their Commander, General Fudd G. Packer and graciously accepted by President Dolittle Fudgewhistle on the front lawn of the Greenhouse in D.C.

A vegan feast of steamed veggies, fruit and beans was prepared by the Greenhouse cooks and served laughingly to the losers.

We may never go back!

“Marty, did you notice how easy it is to breathe the air now?” “Yeah Doc, all that talk about climate change and protecting the environment finally sunk in!”

“I detect other odors in this “clean” air, Doc.” “Well Marty, that’s because vegans saved the animals, there are a trillion billion more animals now farting and burping their guts out.”

“Just look at all the skinny, healthy and happy people here Marty! “Yeah Doc, these vegan girls are HOT!”

Not a hospital in sight. Most doctors, in spite of their specialty, are now nutritionists.

“Doc, I’m joining the Vegan Army, give Jennifer my love, but I’ve eaten my last cheeseburger!”

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