Cats love Vegans

Because they SMELL good!

But Meatheads sometimes don’t smell so good, especially close up! Just ask a person who only eats plant-based, whole-foods and they will agree that vegans have little to no offensive odors.

Before the commercialization of meat products made it more available to the masses, it was easy to identify the more affluent folks who enjoyed consuming meat, JUST BY THEIR BODY ODOR or a lack of one.

Most Asian cultures have always thrived on a vegetarian diet and were never known for offensive body odors until they started eating meat. A sure indicator of affluence in Asian and other cultures.

Are meathead odors offensive to other meatheads? Vegans want to know.

I learned about odors in the bush the hard way. “Sarge, how did they know we were here?

“In the Vietnam War a North Vietnamese soldier named Nga was dubbed “the German shepherd” because, in a comrade’s words, “his nose was legendary. Whenever he said he can ‘smell’ Americans, he always turned out to be right.”

What do you expect from guys that are half starved, used to living on a cup of rice per day, all the senses tuned in to the surroundings, on full alert, just like a cat. Their success in battle depended on them finding you before you found them, and a strange odor in the jungle stands apart from all the other smells, easily noticed by them because the jungle was their home.”

You didn’t have to have the big honker/nose of a Pinocchio to detect the presence of US troops in your area. According to the NVA we were a disorganized rabble of a confused meat eaters, smokers, users of liberal quantities of military grade mosquito repellent and could be seen from space, just from the glow of our cigarettes!

An exaggeration?

Some US officers, especially 2nd Lt’s leading deep-penetration patrols, tried to play the game, pacify the brass by barring smoking, so that men instead chewed tobacco which they then spit on the jungle foliage! HELLO! Now you got a whole trail smelling of foul tobacco juice. Not only can they sense your coming, now they can SEE where you came FROM too.

Real smoking on patrols was officially banned but some platoon commanders allowed it, (to keep from being fragged?) A cigarette and a deep hit of nicotine is a good stress reliever but only if you feel secure enough to light up. NVA (North Vietnamese Army) communist veterans spoke of how they always knew how to find the American marines just by following a trail of cigarette butts. And all this time I thought we cleaned up after ourselves pretty good! Field strip those butts Marine!

The Vietnam War

This documentary about the history behind the Vietnam War I found on Netflix is full of good info about colonialism, country history, disputes, US Pride, Politics and a lot of other so called diplomatic resolutions that failed to get us out of that miserable fight. Despite the usual BS about some of what what REALLY happened there NOT being what really happened, it’s still a good show. It’s better than most at explaining how we got there, why the war was secretly considered unwinnable by the WH, including ‘Tricky’ Dicky Nixon who even did worse, held off the bombing of N. Vietnam for political purposes, all brought to light in this doc.

How many more lives did that cost? ‘so that the ‘morons’ of the middle class would understand THE BIGGER PICTURE and send more SONS to the meaningless slaughter?

If I sound like a bitter VN vet, I guess I am but I’m mostly over it until I see these documented events 50 years later on TV, and the truth comes out. I knew there was corruption, and I did experience fragging, racial tension was a part of it too. And the stoners, sometimes it seemed everyone was smoking something, from the platoon commander on down!

Spoiler alert: Mr. Nixon does not fare well in this video. That thing he said about NOT being a crook, well, um, er, you see, it all depends on what is is! Oh, but wait, that was another president, oops.

But overall I have to say I enjoyed this series, binged watched it after supper for consecutive days until the Chapter reached the era when the commies marched in, mostly unopposed, with their tanks and troops into Saigon, the Capital of S. Vietnam. Desperate crowds of S. Vietnamese (employed by the CIA and promised protection) all attempting futilely to get aboard a SINGLE helicopter on the roof of the US Embassy.

I didn’t need to see that shameful footage again.

I thought I was pretty educated about Vietnam history but there is a lot of info here that I did not know, especially televised interviews given by ex- NVA and Viet Cong, NLF veterans, old and wrinkled like me but also grateful survivors like me too, speaking (in well-spoken English) about our tactics and sometimes our stupid mistakes. After listening to these guys a million more US Troops wouldn’t have been enough to defeat them. They were embroiled in a civil war in Vietnam with their own countrymen and had to fight Korean, Australian, Canadian and US Forces opposing them in all sectors of Vietnam. And they were winning. Their ultimate goal: An independent Vietnam, North and South reunited (under communist rule of course). And today it runs like a swiss watch. It was all for naught.

The documentary breaks down the time periods of the war into chapters and when I got to my year of service in Vietnam (July 69 to August 70) it caused me extreme agitation to see what had been happening, not only to me, but around me during my time there, Ground we had hoarded being given up on a major scale. We were not the only ones in deep doodoo. 3rd Marine Division, Dong Ha, Quang Tri Province 1969.

When I saw the enemy NVA soldiers from N. Vietnam on TV newscasts overrun Quang Tri Province, a year after my return to the US and honorable discharge from the US Marines. At first I was amazed by it because it was the same ground I had fought to keep from communist hands in 1969.

Non-alcoholic and Tasty!

Then I thought well, I guess it was inevitable, even with our help it was touch and go at the time.

But still I was shocked!

Thats when I had to reach for my favorite beverage to calm me down:

An ice-cold CANNABEER!

Pot infused beer that tastes like regular beer, but with a shot of grass tossed in. Sort of like a redbeer but with WEED extract instead of tomato juice.

It was supposed to be joke!

It’s a joke dude

At first I was only kidding about Cannabeer because I found a picture of it online somewhere and thought it would be funny to use in a later post, then, to my delight I found out it actually exists!

The brewers of this magic elixir substitute the hops in the normal beer brewing process with de-carbed and slow-cooked medical marijuana to extract the THC! I enjoy and recommend the Keef brands. Lots of flavored colas. Potent stuff, check the THC levels if you are a rookie.

The Feds/VA won’t allow their doctors to prescribe medical marijuana to veterans with certain disabilities but in my experience, they never discourage it either. Some doctors I have spoken with really believe it helps with PTSD.

Here are some of the other weed-based beer brands available, check your state for more brands of Cannabeer in your area.

Sweat itself is not the culprit of BO

Many people think that sweat is the main cause of body odor. However, the truth is that many types of germs, dirt, and the combination of certain foods in your diet can all affect your body odor. Sweat only amplifies those odors, not a good thing when you are on a patrol in the jungle trying to hide from the enemy in an ambush site.

Fermentation of meat in the body can cause massive BO

The proteins contained in red meat are harder for the body to digest. Also, due to the fact that they can linger in the intestines for several days, they can ferment and cause body odor. The meat contained in C-rations provided to combat troops in Vietnam was basically SPAM on steroids, ham and lima beans, affectionately called ‘ham and mother fu**ers’, spaghetti and meatballs, some kind of compressed chicken, etc. You could throw it all in a combat helmet and make GI stew over a flaming ball of C-4..

People who eat fewer servings of red meat a week don’t have such strong-smelling sweat than those who eat it on a regular basis. IMO they should stop eating meat altogether, go plant-based and smell good like Vegans do!

In addition, cutting red meat from your diet helps avoid gas, abdominal inflammation, and constipation.

Nine foods that can cause body Odor

Finally, the List

No 1. on our smelly hit-parade is RED MEATThe proteins contained in red meat are harder for the body to digest. Also, due to the fact that they can linger in the intestines for several days, they can ferment and cause body odor. Both above and below the belt if you get my drift.

Speaking of odorous, did I mention? meat induced gas discharges from humans can be toxic to everyone, sometimes even to the one that dealt it!

Flammable, Noxious, Rank, TootS = F.A.R.T.S.

No 2, PORK – cured pork products can increase your stomach’s acidity levels (upper and lower, just like any other meat) and cause cheek-flapping discharges of noxious and flammable gas, much to the hilarity of immature teens when we lit our own to demonstrate it could be done.

And lest we forget what it does to our poor piggies, a reminder that pork eaters produce just as much methane gas as any other Meathead.

No. 3, Onion – Bacteria break down the sulfur amino acids contained in onions, which generate smelly, volatile substances, not to mention stinky tears! I remember my boss leaning over me at my workstation one day, I could not concentrate on what he was saying because I was overcome by the ‘green’ cloud of noxious half-digested onion something he had for lunch. But what would a vegan menu be worth without onions?

No. 4, Garlic – Only Italians can make out with other Italians after eating garlic infused foods, one smelly breath cancels out the other! There are plenty of people who avoid eating garlic because the strong smell tends to linger on the breath for hours, but I don’t care, I am addicted to Italian cooking and my wife loves me anyway! It also is more versitile IMO than any other style of cooking that lends itself to a variety of vegan cuisine recipes.

No. 5, Alcohol – People who drink excessively have a more unpleasant smelling skin and breath. Your body processes alcohol as a toxin, so your liver is in charge of getting rid of it. Most of the time it does a pretty good job of it but further abuse of your only liver, over time – it will kill you.

No. 6, Asparagus – It can cause a strong and acidic odor in the urine due to its natural decomposition in the body. Personally, I actually have come to like the smell of my pee pee after consuming those delicious steamed or grilled buds of asparagus. The odor is strong but earthy, reminding me a bit of the skunky aroma of raw marijuana dispensary ‘flower’, clusters of a much higher-quality weed than what we called buds’ back in the Weedozoic Age of US ganja consumption (the 70’s). A time when small time weed dealers ruled the earth.

When vegan Potheads ruled the Earth

Potangaea was a supercontinent that existed from about 300 to 180 BC (before cops). Potoladites, early hippies, first appeared during the Cannibrian period and were among the most talented weavers of tie-die, diverse in whacky, cult-like religions and the happiest of all pothead cultures that have existed before or since. How this mostly vegan culture first thrived, then disappeared with all their secret hybrid strains and seeds is a mystery to be explored in later posts.

But I digress.

Lets carry on with the list of foods that even hours later can warn your enemy of your presence just by a whiff of jungle air, even in steamy or wet conditions.

‘Candy is dandy but liquor is Quicker’

This expression is a quote from the American poet Ogden Nash, from his poem “Reflections on Ice Breaking” in the year 1931 when the subject of his story was how a man could ‘break the ice’ when first meeting a woman. Candy back then was simply a sweet convection made of sugar, harmless, except to teeth, and diabetics, not that other ‘candy’ a drug that ruined so many lives.

No. 7, Refined Sugars – especially strong-smelling candy such as licorice, peanut butter cups, etc. As this is written Halloween is just a few days away, the apex of candy consumption in the USA.

I believe the tradition of Trick or Treat may have been invented by #1. A dentist, #2. Candy companies. Valentine’s day was invented to dispose of the chocolates left over in the stores from Halloween.

No. 8, Spices – Spices such as curry and cumin tend to cause bad breath as well as body odor because, when you consume them, your pores eliminate the sulfurous gases that you digest. Spices should be the last item on a list of food causing odors to consider if you want to avoid aftersmell, besides, the tastes usually dissipate quickly, it’s really not offensive and what would we do without them? Bland Kills Diets!

No. 9, Hydrogenated Oils – The food industry uses hydrogenated oils to prepare fried food, just dripping with plaque fertilizer and a myriad of other artery shrinking compounds, pastries including donuts (Blue Lives Matter!), among other items. They’re not just a leading cause of obesity, but they’re also related to the production of body odor.

Instead try to ‘Fry’ your food in a carbon steel wok on high heat with a quarter cup of boiling vegetable broth instead of oil. Your body will thank you for it.

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